As a fledgling copywriter I was taught to make a fictional model of my prospective customer, and then to simulate her buying and decision making process, so that my copy would anticipate the thoughts forming in her head as she read my copy — so that I could architect a persuasive interaction between the customer and my Web copy.


It’s a model I still use to this day, and I’ve found that it’s also helpful for PPC Ad Writing as well. With that in mind, take a look at the following ads and guess which one outperformed the other:


This one’s easy, right? In any number of ways, Ad B should be the winner. And it is, too — by a solid 162%!


The two big differences? The addition of “Money & Time” onto the phrase “You Save” and the change from “Easy Web Quotes” to “Get Your Free Moving Quote Now!”


The second change just makes sense, as it’s a far more compelling call to action, but the real difference comes during the first line.


In the winning ad, that first line transforms from one that leaves prospects not quite sure what’s being offered, to one that get’s ‘em excited to see the details. You just have to simulate the conversation to see why:


Simulating the Losing Ad


For the losing ad, the conversation would sound something like:
Prospect: “So I’m looking for a moving van.”


Losing Ad: “How about U-Pack Moving Vans? At U-Pack We Drive.”


Prospect: “Huh? You Drive? Isn’t a rental truck sort of a ‘drive yourself’ thing?


Losing Ad: “You Save!”


Prospect: “Well of course I’ll save with a rental truck — that’s the whole point of getting one rather than hiring a mover”


Losing Ad: “Easy Web Quotes”


Prospect: “I’m out of here.”


Simulating the Winning Ad


The wining ad, brilliantly penned by Booster, boostctrkim, would sound something like this:


Prospect: “So I’m looking for a moving van.”


Winning Ad: “How about U-Pack Moving Vans. At U-Pack “We Drive.”


Prospect: “Huh? You Drive? Isn’t a rental truck sort of a ‘drive yourself’ thing?


Winning Ad: “Well at U-Pack, we drive so You can Save Money and Time!”


Prospect: “Hmmm, sounds like you DO drive. And that would save me a whole lot of time, or at least make the drive a whole lot easier. But it’s got to be more expensive than renting a truck and driving yourself right?”


Winning Ad: “Get Your Free Moving Quote Now”


Prospect: “Well, I’ll get a quote from them and then compare it to the rentals. You never know…”


It Pays to Have Imaginary Conversations


As you can see, the addition of “Money and Time” reinforces the concept of “We Drive” enough to re-assure the prospect that they understood the offer correctly.


And that’s enough difference to just about triple click-through rates!


So what kind of conversations are prospects having with your PPC Ads?